Maneuvering the challenges of life can be a complicated process at times, and what makes it more difficult is when we fail to know who we are; and our purpose. What we focus on and who we spend time with can be either a distraction or motivation. This thought is why self-awareness is essential to move through life successfully. We have to become better at paying attention to our activities. Awareness is not always about choosing between good and bad, but sometimes you will have to choose between good and better. The ability to distinguish between the two is known as being selective. Knowing who and what defines you will help you in being selective in your dealings. We are reminded in Proverbs 4:23 (NLT), "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." Internal clarity assists you in setting the course for your life and helps you to determine who and what defines you. So, who defines you?
𝓦𝓱𝓸 𝓓𝓮𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓮𝓼 𝓨𝓸𝓾?
God defines who you are. It is that simple. You are a God-inspired creation placed in the earth with greatness on the inside of you. You are not merely a result of an encounter between your parents. Your parents were the conduits that God decided to use to bring you into existence. This is why we can't allow ourselves to be hung up on the shortcomings of our parents, no matter how egregious some of their behaviors. I am not saying that what you endured didn't affect you; just don't allow it to control your ability to be emotionally stable and lead a purposeful life. I'm learning the more purpose-filled I am, challenging relationships affect me less and less. It is a result of my selective decision-making. Another thing to note, your selective choices don't need the approval of others. This understanding may cause others to be upset with you at times, but being liked is not the end goal. People who respect who you are trying to be will not hold you hostage to their ideas of you. Another self-aware person who knows "who" defines them, will get "it" and you. “Blessed is the influence of one true, loving human soul on another." (George Eliot) Now that we have a better comprehension of who defines us let's discuss "what" defines us?
𝓦𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓓𝓮𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓮𝓼 𝓨𝓸𝓾?
The activities of our calling and our purpose are what defines us. See, our soul longs to be aligned with why we're created. When we spend our lives not congruent with our choices, it causes torment and anxiety within us. It is usually why you question the relationships you are in, romantic, platonic, or otherwise. It is why you struggle every day to go to "that" job. It is why you are not satisfied with your own growth and development. Not only does being non-congruent cause you anguish, but also it can have physiological ramifications. Those constant headaches and stomach issues can often be attributed to your "what" not being aligned with your "who.” The busyness of life keeps us distracted and gives a false sense of feeling accomplished. I need you to stop and consider that completing someone else's assignment for your life is not how you define your what. Your "what" is all the activities that connect to your life's assignment, which enables you to influence and help others. You must recondition yourself to see your frequent interactions in reverse. It is not the needs of people dictating your "what," it is the direction of God dictating your "what"; and who you have been trying to help to no avail, may not be your assignment. Hello somebody! I have been delivered from allowing people to determine what defines me. Stop allowing others to label and limit you and stick you in their box. You are God's artistry, created to influence people and situations. Knowing this is what eliminates the torment and anguish. Oh, and by the way, knowing this is what makes your "NO" work!
As you prepare for another productive and constructive week of chasing your purpose, even in the midst of this pandemic, I want you to stop and think about who you are, what defines you, and how it all connects. Take the time to pinpoint where you are not congruent and where your activities are not aligning with who you say you are supposed to be. What you will discover once you tap into who and what defines you, your authentic self, there will be no more room for fake, false, or phony. It will be a forced effort to give your energy to anything than what you are purposed to do. The word definition is the act of defining or making something definite, distinct, or clear. My desire for you from this day forward is that you will practice being definite in who you are, distinct about your activities, and always very clear about your purpose.
Until next time... Be empowered!