𝘼𝙧𝙚 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙂𝙤𝙤𝙙?
I’m good,” is a phrase people often use to indicate their status or how they feel in the moment. It is the quick, easy response when either a person doesn’t feel like elaborating on what is really going on or they do not trust the person asking enough to share the details of their distress. I have had enough of my own experiences and witnessed the experiences of others to know there is a need to be selective in sharing with people. You have probably heard me quote or have seen me write on numerous occasions that not everyone is healthy enough to have a front seat in your life. (Susan L. Taylor) With that said, there is someone who actually is healthy enough to be a sounding board, counselor, or even mentor, to assist you in
venturing past, “I’m good.” Finding this person
or persons is necessary for your growth and
development.
Good is Relative
“Good, better, best. Never let it rest. 'Til your good is better and your better is best.” (St. Jerome) It seems easier to make a declaration of being good because most people are accepting of this response. If we are being real here, we usually have our own “I’m good” going on. And additionally, someone avoiding sharing allows us to opt-out of having to hold space for them. Nonetheless, we’ve been taught that sharing is caring. Some people want to care because it takes their minds off of their own problems until caring becomes too much. With other people, they avoid caring altogether because it shines a light on their own unresolved issues. We are all able to get to better and even best in our lives, but we have to relinquish the status of “I’m good.” It doesn’t matter why you choose to use it. Life and death are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21) and you have what you say. We must work to achieve alignment within ourselves in order to advance to better.
Graduating to Better
The question here today is, “Are you really good?” When you have finally stopped long enough to take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror, can you honestly say, “I’m good?” Seeing people not only pretend to be OK but also project their not Ok-ness on to others is disheartening. I have watched families past down the practice of shame and guilt from one generation to the next; not realizing it was the anesthetic they used to make themselves feel better. Realize, getting to better requires acknowledging the holes in your own soul. Your proclivities of being jealous, unsure about your life decisions, overly concern with your current economic and career status, relationship stability, or lack of, can send you into a deep spiral if not acknowledged and addressed. “Comparison is the thief of joy,” (Theodore Roosevelt); and I will add the reason why people easily judge others. Addressing these areas with healthy resources will assist in changing your good to better. But why stop at better?
“Striving” To Live Your Best Life!
No amount of money or even outward success is an indicator of anybody living their best life. A few years ago, we saw fashion designer Kate Spade and chef Anthony Bourdain, two famous, accomplished, rich people commit suicide, and by the world’s standards, they were living their “best” life. Here are two examples of why what is best for each of us is determined by our being able to do our own internal work continuously and collaboratively; meaning with help. You thinking you’re doing more than the next person or even the person you judge does not amount to a hill of beans. Remember, we are not human doers we are human beings. Allowing people to be who they are, where they are with love and empathy is how you help people, and how people help you, whether you see it or not. If you truly want to live your best life, consider how you handle people you say you care about. Learn to be motivated by the love and light of God, because your love on its own can be deficient.
So...
As you move forward to make the rest of this year, the best of this year, consider the work you need to do to be better. Start by using your expertise of people on yourself and wait to receive that perfect outcome you look for in others, before sharing your expertise on others. Note, since perfect is an illusion, this activity should keep you preoccupied long enough for you to experience your own personal evolution. (Wink)
Until next time… Be empowered!
DML
