🅼🅾🆅🅸🅽🅶 🅼🅸🆂🅵🅸🆃🆂!
Awareness is a topic I spend a large amount of time studying and discussing. I have lived long enough to know and understand the importance of awareness in our everyday life. I am a student of human behavior and my observations are a constant reminder of how we fail to pay attention to make mindful decisions. As I evaluate my own life, I confess that I did not always have enough knowledge or the right tools to make informed decisions, i.e. my marriage. I was too young and inexperienced for such a large and serious undertaking. My union was definitely a misfit. This has nothing to do with my ex, but everything to do with me, and my unpreparedness. I am a very big proponent of owning your stuff, so I am not here for pointing fingers. I willingly signed up for the chaos I called marriage. (Sigh) Any hooo…. What makes for a misfit? Let’s start by defining what a misfit is. A misfit is defined as something that does not fit or that fits badly. A misfit is also a person whose behavior or attitude sets them apart from others in an uncomfortably conspicuous way. Here, in this space, I am going to discuss misfit situations and people.
The Right Fit
There was a time when I worked at a big department store for all of one week. I discovered something about myself during this time. I am not cut out for retail. Standing all day and trying to look busy when there wasn’t really anything to do was torture. I found the job boring and I knew after a few days that retail was not my thing. The job was a misfit. This was during the early stages of my work life, but I would have other opportunities to discover what a fit was and what it was not. Most people are best suited for activities that closely align with their purpose. Just because you do something well, does not mean you want to do it all of the time. What is the equation for purpose?
Doing something well + Enjoying what you do + Benefiting others = Purpose
Whether it is a circumstance that no longer fits or a relationship, it is up to you to move them out of your proximity. The control you have is your ability to shift away from what or who no longer fits. If all possible interventions have been exhausted, then get up, collect all your belongings, and move to a less toxic space. You may not be able to physically move, but you can change how you show up mentally, emotionally, socially and spiritually. Let us begin to put into practice what we are learning here together. As you start a new week, begin to evaluate your interactions and decide who and what is actually a proper fit for your purpose. Those situations and people that align with your purpose and who can be considered divine connections can stay. All others have to be voted off your island of tranquility and moved to the land of misfits. For the sake of your peace of mind and your progress, their removal is necessary.
Managing Misfits
Misfit also has another meaning: it can be a person’s dysfunctional behavior or attitude. Let me be clear, we all have issues that we need to work on. The difference is this: a misfit will not see the need to work on their issues, and is content in their state, while a person, practicing self-awareness will address and work on eradicating their dysfunction. The person who can only see the challenges of others, without ever turning their investigative mirror on themselves, is a misfit. Misfits thrive off the familiar, the comfortable, the convenient, the crazy, and the chaotic. We all have missteps, but when you have the same exchanges with the same people, you have to ask yourself, “Why do you continue these interactions, especially if you do not have to?” I will wait for your answer. (Tapping fingers) At any time, you can decide that this person’s dysfunction makes him or her a mis-fit in your life. It may be time to evolve the relationship; by confronting for correction or no longer engaging, depending on the other’s willingness to make adjustments. How is continuing this arrangement making you or them better? Your constant disappointment is an indicator that they are having more influence over you than you are having over them. Somehow, being a misfit is benefiting them because they seemingly get what they want – control over you. I say it is time to move the misfits.
Say Goodbye Misfit!
Whether it is a circumstance that no longer fits or a relationship, it is up to you to move them out of your proximity. The control you have is your ability to shift away from what or who no longer fits. If all possible interventions have been exhausted, then get up, collect all your belongings, and move to a less toxic space. You may not be able to physically move, but you can change how you show up mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually. Let us begin to put into practice what we are learning here together. As you start a new week, begin to evaluate your interactions and decide who and what is actually a proper fit for your purpose. Those situations and people that align with your purpose and who can be considered divine connections can stay. All others have to be voted off your island of tranquility and moved to the land of misfits. For the sake of your peace of mind and your progress, their removal is necessary.
Until next time... Be empowered!
𝓓𝓜𝓛
