So, here we are at the halfway point of this year. If you are like me, you started the year with an updated vision board, goals written out, with a heart and mind to execute. My experience and training have provided me the know-how to write and implement plans and assist others in doing the same. The challenge for me lately is the curve-balls that life seems to throw at me from out of nowhere. It is the unexpected, sometimes startling occurrences in life that are not only distracting but occasionally disrupting. Over time I have become more clear about my inability to control outcomes. However, knowing this does not guarantee an easy passage out of what often feels like a storm. Storms can slow down progress and blur vision. I have had to reduce speed for safety or pull off the road altogether because of the high winds and rains of life. Dealing with distractions and disruptions is much like trying to maneuver through a storm that comes in fast and hinders your progress. And just like a storm, depending on the severity, you struggle to quickly recover so you can get back to what seems like normal. I can’t help but assess the distractions and disruptions that have impeded my progress during the first half of this year. The questions I have asked myself are these: What was out of my control? What did I allow? And what do I need to adjust to get back on track?
Out of my control!
As much as I believe that planning helps eliminate anxiety, it is challenging to plan for the unknown. I am very much a calendar, to-do list, follow up kind of girl. And even with my need for structure, I cannot schedule for new diagnoses or illness, create a to-do list for unidentified tasks, or get the unwilling to do their part. I felt that in my spirit! Some things are just out of my control. I believe we do ourselves a disservice when we beat ourselves up for not being able to keep going, despite it all. Depending on what is interrupting the flow you created for yourself, you may have to stop and adjust to accommodate what is happening at the moment. Some things justifiably require your time and attention, and adjustments will allow you to create a game plan to get back on track in the appropriate amount of time.
Is it what you allowed?
“What you allow will continue.” (Unknown) The self-work I have done regarding my evolution has taught me that not everyone understands the need for spiritual, mental, and emotional growth in their life. Not enough to pursue it anyway. Whether it is because of how they were raised and family conditioning or because living status quo is their coping mechanism, it is challenging to remain in relationships and be in close proximity to people who struggle with change. I have seen this play out over this past year. I have realized the need to stop or minimize my engagement with people whose behavior and actions are misaligned with my intentions. In doing so, some of these individuals have become upset or agitated because I refuse to react and respond based on our past experiences. I find it crazy how adults will try to manipulate or bully another adult into continuing to engage based on past involvements. I am not “there” anymore, and yes, I am being new. This is my new! This is what I have come to realize in trying to walk in my purpose. The time and energy it takes to engage these mindsets are both distracting and exhausting! The longer you allow it, the less you will get accomplished.
How do I adjust?
There are still quite a few goals I need to accomplish before the end of this year. I thought some of my goals would have been completed, but the unplanned and what I allowed slowed my progress. I have assessed my responses to both the unplanned and allowed and realize where I need to adjust going forward. I am determined to rely more heavily on the two tools that I employ to ensure my progress; my faith and therapy. I find that when you are in the business of helping people heal, you must make sure that you are working on your own healing at all times. I have seen too many people who are supposed to be helping people do more damage because they end up deflecting responsibility or projecting their hurt and disappointments onto others. Never confuse titles and roles with healthy. I also trust God with my outcomes. Where I am working on getting better, is trusting Him with the outcome of others. I cannot fix or save people. Only God can heal people if they are willing to participate in their own deliverance. My mid-year adjustment will include using my faith to handle what is out of my control and identifying the distractions that are not my assignment. Doing this will allow me to execute my goals and ultimately live in my purpose.
Today is a great day to start making necessary adjustments, so the remainder of your year will be both fulfilling and successful!