When Walking Away is Necessary
I didn't give up, I walked away
I had enough of accepting actions that were less than I deserved.
I made a conscious choice
To honour myself,
Before complementing another
If that's what; has made you undeniably mad,
Than I know, the history of our connection is hidden in the truth of your heart and regardless of your outcome, I have made the right choice for me. (Nikki Rowe)
Not hurting people’s feelings has always been big for me. I like making people happy, and at times I will work very hard to avoid conflict. This behavior was my makeup since I can remember. It has been in recent years, as I have worked on myself and have gotten more precise with my purpose, that I have come to realize that no matter how hard I try to avoid it, I will disappoint people. Saying no to others in order to say yes to my purpose, will at times, be disappointing to those expecting a yes to their request. As the call of your purpose gets louder, staying anywhere or with anyone that is not complementary to your call will be weary, soul-draining even. So why do we stay anywhere physically, long after our spirit has left? And what does staying prove?
Yes, I Quit!
Most of us learned never to give up and never quit. Giving up is often seen as akin to failure. This thought process can be detrimental when the context of why we decide to engage is not a consideration. At what cost should you stay in something ineffective or just not for you, because the issue may be, it’s just not for you. Whatever it is, your calling is specific; your needs differ, and sometimes what is necessary for your personalized growth and development changes. And what got you to a certain point may not be enough to keep you on the same path as you journey forward in your purpose. And that’s OK! My question to you is this: “Your staying in that place or position helps you to prove what?” That you are enough? You are already enough! That you are strong? Yes, you are strong. And subsequently, strength is not about your ability to stay in the cycle of familiarity. Your power is in your ability to venture forward into uncertainty. God operates in what you perceive as the unknown, and the unknown is the place where your faith is proven. Is it possible you have made your staying about someone else? Who are you rescuing?
Who Are You Rescuing?
“They need me!” This thought is a God-complex if there ever was one! News flash... They need God! I am very clear about the part I play in the lives of people that God allows me to influence, and that is to direct or redirect them back to Him. My purpose, my why of teaching, preaching, mentoring, coaching, and training, is ultimately to help people to position themselves to see God as their rescuer and their need for His guidance in their lives. All I can be is a demonstration of what it looks like to participate in my own deliverance actively! I am absolutely clear about my inability to help people who do not want help, or who are unwilling to do the self-work necessary to become who God intends for them to be. Self-work is hard, but staying in a place of being unfulfilled, whether physically, mentally, or spiritually is even harder. Jonah telling his shipmates to throw him overboard into the sea helped to rescue others, and ultimately, his participation in the process allowed God to save him! (Jonah 1) What is the end game?
Do not sacrifice your purpose on the altar of other people’s agenda for your life! (DML) Have you consulted God regarding His purpose for your life? Are you aware that everything you do and all your connections are meant to feed you and your purpose, sometimes indirectly? Consider this; if you know your doctor is not helping you, do you continue to see him? He doesn’t ask you any pertinent questions, and he gives you no relevant, updated information. He takes your copay and sends you on your not so merry way. Will you continue to retain a lawyer who handles your case poorly? His actions could possibly have you imprisoned or cost you more than your ability to pay. Hear me when I say this; do you realize that what you have decided to remain in is possibly keeping you imprisoned in both your mind and spirit and is costing you your future? Is your purpose worth the sacrifice of staying? How about this; are you willing to sacrifice purpose so that person can stay? God has a destiny in place for you, but you must be willing to walk away from anything or anyone hindering that destiny. Your destiny and purpose are the end game!
I’m sharing with you today, what is a continuous affirmation to myself. After prayerful consideration over time, I have ended connections that no longer align with my purpose. It was not easy to do, but it is was very necessary. This evolving-eliminating process is ongoing. Graduating to your next requires growth, and matriculation through the school of life involves maturity. I have had to walk away a few times, and the way my life is set up, I’m sure it won’t be the last. I am learning that I must trust God with all my outcomes. Leaving doesn’t mean you don’t love anymore; it just means you have to listen to the God of your purpose.
Until next time... Be empowered! DML